Panic Attacks

I had to continue my search for a job so I placed in advertisements on needing a job in the social networks.  Surprisingly, I got a respond from one who is looking for sales associate.  I gave a good interview and of course he told me that I was going to be working on my own in the shop.  I was doing fine at the shop and the boss was touring me around.  I was surprised that he only given me 4 hours training on the register.  It was a difficult register to work on.  He even introduced me to customers.  Considering that it was an adult shop I wondered why he introduced me to the costumers.  I didn’t want them to take an advantage of me being on my own in the shop.  All I kept thinking was a guy coming in and aiming a gun at me looking for money.

When I got home, I was thinking about the training on the register and 4 hours of it.  I wasn’t ready for it yet and I definitely wasn’t ready to be thrown in the shop on my own the next day either considering that I never worked in a shop by myself.  I discussed it with Craig on my feelings about my situation.  I started to panic the next morning and became very emotional and started to cry.  Not sure why but I knew I was nervous.  Craig knew that something was wrong with me and that I needed help.  He also knew I didn’t like working on my own in shops and never been in that situation before.  He helped me to seek help, receiving medications.

I would say that if there was someone else in the shop, the atmosphere wouldn’t be that bad.  I’m just not used to being in a shop on my own.  I called up the boss that I couldn’t do the job, but I implied that I wouldn’t be able to come in and as Marcia Brady had said “Something suddenly came up”

Deep down I knew I need a job to contribute some money.  We were surviving barely.  I had to apply for food stamps and also to seek help.  It was a matter of time that I got these kinds of help.  I figure that needing help is a good thing to do and see what’s up.