House Hunting

We have been looking for a house these days.  We were going to find a house around here in Vermont but still it would be far away from my family.  It would take us about 5 hours to get there to Connecticut.  So we decided to check out the houses around Connecticut.  We would only be like an hour away from them which isn't too bad.  I hope we could find a nice descent house in a nice area where there is very low crime rate.

I was letting my mind wander and thinking is he doing all this for me preparing for me to live out my days in the house so that when he dies the house will be mine.  He did mention it that the house would be mine when he dies and if I wanted a roommate afterwards I could.  It saddens me to think about what will happen but I know its the reality of life.

Is this the end of being normal?

Last week Craig had another appointment with his Occupational Therapy and Physical Therapy.  It was his first meet with the occupational therapy and I went back there with him to keep me from being bored in the waiting room. 

As I was sitting on Craig's walker chair, he was explaining to the OT from the beginning what happened to him and how he became crippled in his hands and ended up in a walker.  I was thinking how he used to be before everything happened to him and wondered, "Is this the end of Craig's journey of being normal like everybody else?"  "Is this the way he is going to be for now on?"  "Is he going to ever be the same again?"  I keep asking myself these questions over and over again and I cannot find an answer to them.  I really thought my days were over as being a caregiver when I worked for the mentally challenged adults.  I left it because it was tearing me down as I wasn't thinking about my own health.

Trip to hospital

Yesterday we suppose to go to Dartmouth Hospital in Lebanon New Hampshire to see our doctor but we woke up late, so we had to rescheduled it for another time. 

Craig was complaining about his back bothering him and the pain was getting worse.  We went to Gifford hospital in Randolph into the Emergency Room.  They took xrays and there weren't any broken bones, which was a good sign.  Not really sure why he is still feeling pain in his back along his tailbone and hip.

I really hate hospitals as they make me sad and seeing Craig being laid up I bed was depressing me and it was giving me flashbacks when I nearly lost him a couple of times when he went into kidney failure twice a couple of years ago.  I was brave enough not to cry which I normally do because I am very sensitive that way. 

We waited for 3 hours for the doctor to say that there wasn't anything on the xrays that showed up.  He then said that he would be right back and give him a second to do something.  A half an hour passed and we just had it.  We were so pissed off because he left us with no choice but to leave the ER because he never came back.  But he caught us on time and gave Craig a prescription of Tramadol to help him with his pain, which is a good thing.