Back to life, back to reality

Now that the caregiver is gone we could think about getting back to the swing of things.  I can't believe we are still talking about her.   I just want to forget her and move on with our lives just like she is as well I'm sure.

I know its my duty to watch over Robert and take care of him and making sure nothing happens to him because he needs me.  He would do the same for me.  Yes it is frustrating but that's just life.  I have to be able to control myself and not feeling the need of being under pressure and not to be difficult because I can be but I do love him and love being with him and taking care of each other.

We do plan on getting married once that the weather gets much better.  Oh yes, that is still in the books.

Its so nice we had this together...

We had to have our caregiver to leave work due to things that she has been doing that could be dangerous for both Robert and me.  Don't get me wrong the caregiver was really nice and could do her work great.  She is very fast at her work.  Very friendly Christian.

I have been aware of the dangers of Robert and me:

- we have to watch out for what we say because she was a Christian

- she has been taking us both on appointments and shopping with the use of her vehicle and she can be brainless ie she may drive too close to the driver in front, switching lanes when she isn't suppose to.

- She used a hand towel that had been using 

- I noticed that the back door has been opened a couple of times and she made it wasn't her.  We never go out the back door.  I normally keep the door in a way that you could open the door from the inside but after closing it, the door would lock on the outside.  The button was always opened on the knob so both sides could be opened.

- She placed her coffee Thermos in the microwave for 2 minutes and started a fire 

- She used our hand towel which we use for our faces and clean our bodies with by using Soft Scrub.  
I was wondering why my face has been smelling like Soft Scrub everywhere I go.  Then she told me that she has been using it for toilets and other cleaning areas.  I was furious.  She said she did not know but I think it is commonsense that you don't place bleached cloths on top of colored cloths (which our hand towel was).  I don't even know why she was using the hand cloths in the first place for cleaning.

After Robert and I had a discussion about me speaking up since I don't really speak my mind, because I don' like to hurt people's feelings, I decided to speak my mind toward her and that when things started to get hostile.  I started to get upset that I didn't want to have to deal with anything that came my way.  And I had an appointment with my counselor and had canceled it.  I had to remove myself

There was hostility between the caregiver and me.  I felt very awkward about it and I suddenly felt uncomfortable her around especially her disrespecting me whenever Robert and I had a disagreement about something.  She had nothing to do with our relationship.  I didn't want to argue or disagreement with my partner as long as "the guest" as I put it.  She said she wasn't a guest.  I wasn't going to back down and told her that she was a guest and not going to have a discussion as long as she was around.  Even after she left I was still quiet and didn't really want to talk for the evening.

Robert and I eventually talked because he really thought I was going to leave him.  He has been hurt in the past.  Everyone has been hurt in the past and that's just life and we have to find a way to cope and live through it.  Even I have been hurt in the past.

So the outcome of it that we had to let her go, otherwise it would be continuously hostility and I didn't want to feel that I was in the wrong all the time because I wasn't.  I didn't want to have to think something to happen and I refuse to allow someone like that to overpower me like that.

This situation nearly jeopardize our relationship and what will happen now.  The only thing I could think of is just to talk to him about what will happen and not to worry about what will happen even though we as people say things when we are angry and upset.

I feel relieved that she is gone because I also didn't like how she was going through our files and documentation.  Now we could be able to continue with our life.

Its funny because when I opened the front door to check the mail, the blanket that I had for her for Christmas was returned.  That was okay showed where her morals were and very stubborn and immature.  But lucky me, I have an offer for that particular blanket to sell it for $100.00.  My friend wants it so it all turned out fine.  I could use the money too.

Starting new

We finally moved into our 2 bedroom disabled duplex house.  It is such a relief to move out of the basement apartment.  Not only the cats could be able to move around but it has been easier for us as well to get around.  No more climbing stairs.

He decided to leave his doctor  Finally!  Something I wanted him to do for a while.  He doesn't need to hear the guilt trips all the time from her.  We are both disappointed with her unprofessionalism.  The things that she said to him was uncalled her.  Some of the things were
- I want you to feel the pain so you could be reminded to exercise (something to that association)
- You only went to the hospital so you could get pain pills.

So yes I am so glad that he left the clinic.  Since he left the clinic he is more relieved and has been sleeping better.

We had been having problems with the so-called caregiver who was Somali.  She wasn't allow to touch a main so he couldn't bathe him or dress him. So that left her with the cleaning around the house, which helped but I could had done the cleaning, and I felt like a loose thumb with not cleaning in the mornings.  The caregiver suppose to come in at 9am until 1pm, and it has gotten bad that she has been coming in later as late as 10.30am without any phone call, and when she is here she is only here for about an hour.  We had to let her go because she couldn't do the duties that a caregiver should really be doing, and after talking with her boss who happens to be one of the transportation guys who picks Craig up for his appointments Abdul (that's his name) couldn't guarantee that a man would be comfortable on doing bathing and dressing and such.   So Craig decided to change services since he wasn't happy with the services he was receiving.

I haven't been working out for the past week and a half due to no internet access and phone access because I document my workouts online.  I had also noticed that Craig hasn't been working out to gain his strength back, so I am going to try to work with him on his workouts as well.  I would love to see him do some cardio or HIIT program but that's not going to happen anytime soon due to his leg problems.