Happy New Year

Well its the new years 2016.  Hope that everyone enjoyed themselves whatever they had done. We didn't do anything but just stayed home and watched a lot of The Twilight Zone episodes.  It was a quiet evening.

This is another year of new resolutions and goals.  I do have a goal for myself which is to get back into working out again even with this lower back pain.  I also want to continue my researching on wanting to relocate to Northern Ireland.  Craig knows that I want to return for good and hadn't given up on wanting to go back.  So this research continues.

*** I'll Be Home For Christmas ***

We decided to go down to Connecticut to see the family for a few days.  We actually left on Christmas morning and stayed until Monday morning.  Just as well we left Monday because we are getting snow for Tuesday.  We didn't want to get stuck in the snow.

I did end up seeing my 5 year old Niece for the very first time.  She didn't know who I was but when I told her that I was Uncle Brian, her face expression was just priceless.  Her mouth dropped and her eyes widen.

It was sad that I didn't get to see my brother as I thought I was going to but because he was dealing with issues of his own, I wouldn't be able to see him.  Maybe next time.

Craig, Richard, me

During our stay in Connecticut we had met a few friends from Facebook which was really nice.  We missed out on meeting our friend Richard back in June 2015 when we went to Connecticut to see the family.  Richard was nice enough to give me a few of his things which he was giving away such as some stuffed animals, a Duck Dynasty fleece blanket, and a big bear quilt.

Craig and me

We were going to go into Olive Garden but I suppose Richard wanted to go into Red Lobster which was next door, which was fine with us.   We got to meet some of his friends who came along with the gathering.

Peter, Rick, Richard, Andrea ,Craig

Andrea, Craig, me Peter, Rick

 It was really nice to finally meet Richard in person as well as meeting some of his friends.  We were having such a great laughable time but good things had to come to an end.  We had to depart our ways.

me Peter Craig

We then had to depart our ways. We we saying our goodbyes but we told them that we would see them again soon.  Richard and I began rubbing our beards together.  I could feel that he was sad and didn't want us to leave which was understanding.  I didn't want to leave either but we had to get back to my sister's house.

Craig Richard me

Holidays

I don't know why I am very nervous about driving 4 hours to Connecticut to see the family.  I just don't want to get into crash by the crazy people driving on Christmas day.  It will be stressful wondering what to expect.  Im concerned with how Craig is going to do with his walker without falling over himself.  But he is much stronger now.

I haven't met my niece who is 5 years old now so it would be nice to meet her for the very first time in person even though we had skyped.  Also I haven't seen my brother in 10 years.  I don't even know if he will be at my sister's house which where we will be staying.  It would be first time in 10 years since four of us kids were reunited, so I would think it would be nice to be together.  I am also not looking forward to what drama the family has.

We were going to go to a restaurant as we have reservations on Christmas Eve for dinner, but he has been feeling weird and losing sleep over it that I have to go with him to the bathroom with him making sure that he doesn't fall or wiped or whichever.  He does have trouble cleaning himself so I have to be by his side on that.  I told him we didn't have to go to the restaurant since it was just a reservation.  We were going to go to a cafe instead for lunch and then spend Christmas eve watching Christmas movies.

We had a surprise package which was presents from Craig's mother which is now under the tree waiting for Christmas Eve to open the presents.  It was nice of her to send the presents to us.

Packing

Halloween Eve and we had packed up like crazy.  Our maintenance guy was really nice enough to help us out with the loading, driving our things to Vermont, and then unload over there to Vermont.  I am going to miss him and his wife.  They have been so nice to us.

The waiting

One thing I hate is waiting for something, especially this house we have been waiting for to move into.  Its on its last process.  Its pretty stressful and I'm coming to a point now that I can't wait to leave Maine completely.  I'm so over with this state.  I'll never return to this state.  There is nothing here that Maine could offer me.  Craig knows how I am feeling and he also can't wait to get all this over and done with.

I'm pretty excited on moving to Vermont and seeing what its like.  I am pretty nervous about the wild animals there like the bear for example.  From what we gathered from the woman who lives in the house the bear would come onto the property and eat the bird seeds.    I think they would be afraid of humans but then again I don't know.

Things are going smoothly

Well it seems that the plans on moving out of Maine state is starting to run smoothly.  I am pretty much excited but very nervous on making this move.  I don't know why I am nervous. I just don't want any fall downs like what if the woman changes her mind on the house (even though Craig said that the woman said the house was on the market for about a year), or how we are going to get the vehicle down to Vermont with the truck, wondering if we are going to get the help on loading and unloading the truck, are we going to have enough money for this transition.  I actually like the house and I would like everything to go as planned and as smoothly.  I just want this transition over and done with so we could live comfortably in our new home.  I am not looking forward to the moving and driving down there for 4 hours with the possibility of a car dolly in the back of the truck.  Its making me nervous to even think about it.  I don't even know if I could do it safely.  I don't want to mess up the vehicle.

Another worry about living in this house is that the only transportation we have is the vehicle and if something happens to this vehicle then we are screwed because we probably wouldn't have the money to repairs.  But I am trying not to think about it.  I consider myself a good driver.  Out of the 13 years I have been driving, only been in one accident and that was a ding.

We finally picked up the transfer voucher so we could be able to get the house on since we are going through this program where we could be able to get a grant through under his Section 8 even I would be under the lease as well.

I was surprised to hear why we are getting this house.  Since we cannot afford going to Ireland due to the cats (we are not going to give them away), he's preparing me to live a comfortable life for if he passes on I would have a place to live.  Tears came streaming down my face as I laid in bed thinking about it.  It was the nicest thing to hear about what someone is going to do for me.

Through sickness and health

Lots of people would just leave their spouses due to their condition.  I'm not one of those people since I believe that my heart is where it should be.  I don't think I could put Craig into assisted living.  I was surprised my mother wanted me to put Craig into assisted living and move over to Ireland.  I was pissed off when she said that to me.  Its not like her to say something like that.  I mean would she put her husband in an assisted living?  Of course not, so why even say it?

Seeing Craig talk about how messed up his life is physically, I see that he's either being burnt out because he fought for so long and its taking a long time for his healing since he's a diabetic or he would still be sleeping and mumbles in his sleep.  He does talk like this when he is tired and sleepy.  Hearing him talk like this does make me sad, but I try to boost up with his confidence and being positive about the whole thing.  I know he wishes things were the way they were

It didn't take me that long until I realize how many people have such staring problems when they see Craig walk with his walker.  This does bother me and he knows that people are staring at him too.  Its as if they never saw someone walk with a walker before.  I'm sure when that time comes it will happen to them.