Happy New Year 2017

Spilling the beans

Two years ago Craig and I were going to move to Northern Ireland and settle down there.  I was telling my mother and she got this idea in her head that I was going to be arrested going through immigrations.  I am not sure why she thought that.  Strange she mentioned this because during things started happening to Craig with his weak leg, falling and then his hands curled under his wrists, my mother wanted me to leave him because she got this other idea in her head that he was going to die.  I didn't want to upset her more so I just left it like that.  Craig wanted to check out Vermont to live so since I had the money to move there I gave him that wish to move here.  But still I am not happy.

Craig and I have been really thinking about moving again, our final decision was to move to Northern Ireland and didn't care what my family thought about it.  I figured I would tell my mother via skype text since she is going to find out sooner or later.  She thought I was joking and I know she is shocked on that matter as well.

Thanksgiving passed and I wasn't surprised that we didn't hear from any of the family to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving.  I seriously think my mother is a little pissed off but I really don't care about what she thinks.  She lived her life she should let me live my life.  It bothers me when she thinks that I will be sponging off the family and again she thinks that when Craig dies the family would have to be responsible for burying him.  I don't know why she is having these thoughts in her head thinking Craig is expecting something from the family.

A couple of days ago, I gotten a call from my sister Karen and she wanted to know what was going on,  I figured my mother spreaded the word around that we were leaving the United States permanently.  My sister wanted to know what was going on and started asking questions like what will we will be doing with the furniture and car, where we are going to go, do we have enough money to get over there, what about the cats, and medical stuff.  I told her that everything is being planned out.  We both renewed our US Passports...actually I just got my US passport yesterday so that is out of the way.

To this day, my mother hasn't skyped so I am assuming that she is still annoyed and pissed off.  But what she has to realize that I have a life and have to live my life just as well she lived hers.

Our plans for March 2017

Its been a couple of months since my last entry on here.  Well we are doing it.  We booked a flight to Northern Ireland as we will be relocating there.  We are getting fed up with the US and how its going down hill.  I never really felt safe here.  I remember joy and happiness when I lived in Northern Ireland back in the 90s for 9 years that I was there.  It was a big decision that we were making either moving elsewhere here in Vermont or just pack up our belongings and sell up everything and move overseas.  The sad part is that we will have to give away our 3 lovable cats.  We will be heartbroken when its time for them to go to new homes, which I hope we could be able to find for them.  I have been depressed for a week thinking about this when I should be enjoying my time with them while they are here with us.  Its just hard the thought that we have to do this.  I think about their last Thanksgiving and Christmas with us, their last feed, last treats.  This will be very hard on the both of us because we had the cats for 9 years.  Why are we giving away our cats rather than taking them with us?  Well they are very expensive to take with us.  Each cat is a regular ticket just like us and that's expensive.  Then we have to think about the quarantine and all that too.  It would be best if they stayed behind and find them a home.  I don't want to do this but it something we have to do.

Our flight for Northern Ireland will be March 22, 2017.  I am excited about this but also nervous as well.  Not sure why I am nervous.  I just want things to work out smoothly.

We have been sorting stuff out around the apartment things we don't need so I have been putting stuff on Craigslist on giving away and also trying to sell some of the stuff for now.  Just seems that people want free stuff which kind of annoys me.  Nobody wants to buy anything anymore on Craigslist.  All they want are Free Stuff.  I had some people to pick up some of the Free stuff, which was a lot.  I only sold a couple of things.  

Earlier this evening I was sorting the bedroom out.  I went into the closet and started pulling out clothes that I don't wear anymore and placed them in black plastic bags.  There was 3 full bags of clothes that were filled up.  I ended up throwing them out as I didn't want them in the apartment anymore.  I even sorted out the floor part in there as well.  All there is are some shoes and a couple of suitcases.

I cleared out underneath the bed and vacuumed it as well.  I emptied the bag-less vacuum twice.  It was filled with cat fur.  I couldn't believe that there was so much fur under there.

Well, that'll be it for now.

Ireland vs. Connecticut

So we were thinking about moving again.  I wanted to move to Northern Ireland and be close to my relatives.   I missed how things used to be when I used to live there in the 90s for 9 years.  I felt safe even though there was riots at night, but I never went out at night so it didn't bother me.  Also would give me the chance to get free medical as well.

But then we thought about Connecticut because my family are around that area.  My stepfather just turned 80 years old this week, which made me think about my mother's age as well.  Who knows how much time they have left in their life.  I thought it might be a wise idea to live closer to them.  It would give my mother the chance to come visit us as well.  She only went out to my sister's house, so if we move to Connecticut she could come see us as well.  She kept telling us she must come up to see us, but she's been saying that for years.  So at least if we move to Connecticut she would have another place to come visit.

Right now we are looking around for apartments in Connecticut so we just might be moving that way instead of Ireland.  I guess we could always visit Ireland whenever we want to when the funds are there for us.

Am I sad that I would miss out this opportunity to move to Ireland right now?  Sure I miss it.  I miss my friends and relatives as well.  But that could come later on I suppose.  I would like to settle down there some day.  But only time could tell.

Update / Ireland

We are in the middle of a decision making or trying to find a way to relocating again and to Ireland, possibly Northern Ireland.  I don't know when we will be doing this but I know that I am not happy here in the United States.  I never was happy here.  I do want to return to Ireland and settle down there.  I had fun and enjoyed myself when I lived there back in the 90s for 9 years.  Craig knows I am not happy here and have been depressed.  He too wants to relocate to Europe as well.

I'm in the middle of writing an email to one of the directors in the gay community which I was in contact last year and actually was on the phone with last June.  I am hoping he remembers us and our conversation.

I do hope to be out of the US for good by the Fall.  Just a little confused on what to do with the cats and its sad to give them away.

The need to return to Northern Ireland

I watch movies and shows about Ireland and its getting me depressed more.  I know I shouldn't be watching but its where my heart is and I do enjoy those kind of movies and shows.  I feel that its where I should and suppose to be.  I find myself not happy again like I once was before I moved to Northern Ireland back in 1992 which was part of the reason why I left the United States.  I could kick myself in the ass for following someone that never been when I returned year 2000.  I should had never returned to the United States.  I was going to stay in New York for 10 days then head down to Florida to see a guy which was never been.  I should had returned to Northern Ireland after my 10 days was up.

Craig knows that I want to return and I think he is worried about sacrificing some things like his housing voucher that allows us to have a reduce rate for renting an apartment.  I do think about these things too and also whether he will get the services there in Ireland.  We would be giving up a lot of things like our furniture, the car, and possibly the cats too.

This discussion will continue with him and me.  He does want to move to Europe, so we'll see what we could figure out.

Good Ole Times

Friday night Craig and I skyped one of my friends Lorraine and her family.  We were having a few drinks and having a good laugh.  Always enjoyed Lorraine's company, knew how to get the best of me because we were talking about All Saints (band)  Never Ever and how I used to mock them.  It started back up again and the fun times we used to have with this song.  I figured I would show Craig how crazy I could get when I am around with Lorraine.  I went to youtube and put that song on and grabbed my microphone and started to do the moves of how they danced lip syncing them.
After ending our skype call, made me think about Ireland more and how I still want to continue researching on getting back there once again to settle down.  No, there wasn't any tears, but thinking about 15 years gone by since i return to the states and missed out on so much there.

Northern Ireland or Vermont

Lately we have been talking about relocation.  He already knows that I want to move back home to Northern Ireland.  I call Ireland home because both parents are from there and all my relatives are there, even though I am born and raised in the United States.
Everything I think about Ireland and what it would feel like to be living there, I think about the things such as living in just outside the town like Claudy and having a little bungalow house or something, with a vehicle, settled down and living comfortably with our 3 cats.  He thinks it would be great to live in Ireland, but his concerns are with the illegal immigrants trying to get into England.  Also the 3 cats are a problem which we don't know if we could get the funds for them.  We only collected a small amount but that doesn't even cover rent right now.

help-bring-our-cats-back-home-to-ireland

Everything that has been talked about has been a struggle and alot of stress upon us.  Well I'm scared myself on returning because my concerns about it is that I am wondering how I am going to continue my social security disability and wonder how that works with them.  I mean, I know I could bring we could bring both of our SSD over there.  Their system could be different.  I'm not sure.  Also wondering if he will get the treatments that he needs since he has to go once a month to IV fusion to help his immune system.  Also medications and housing, and a vehicle and possibly furniture, however there are places that are furnished.

We had been talking about Vermont here and there.  There are things that are already in place, like Section 8, and don't have to worry about our SSD being cut off.  Also we could get a small house possibly and also a vehicle.  I could also get my gym that I always wanted.  But at the same time I don't feel safe in the US for some reason the way I did with Northern Ireland.  I don't know why but I just do.

Researching continues

Lately we have been pretty stressed out not only with his condition with his hands trying to straighten them out as he cannot straighten them.  No muscle tissues on his top arms.  Also stressed out with the moving decisions.  We have been working our butts off with researching to relocate to Northern Ireland

We were in decision making either Ireland or Connecticut.  We had checked out Connecticut, and yes it would be nice to live down there and be closer to the Nieces and nephews but after our experience down there hearing mom's negativity it was getting in our space.  I was talking with Craig about this whole thing and we were thinking, do we really want to hear my mother's negativity day after day when she comes visit.  So we decided to push at Ireland.

I couldn't believe how much work we need to do between furniture to be sold, get the cats situated as well as us as well, process on getting there, and wondering if we need a VISA.  I had lived there before back in the 90s for 9 years and it was an experience.  It was different back then because it was just me and my clothes now its taking more responsibilities.

We are pushing to relocate this November and i am hoping we could be able to do this and make this big move.  I am very nervous about the whole thing.

Moving decisions

So we have been doing alot of researching to relocate to Ireland, all the research we could possibly can get so we could live comfortably there without any gaps.  Mom thinks that I am going to get arrested because she thinks I gave up my nationality as American.  She has no idea how much research we have been doing.  She knows how to use the computer but always jumped into conclusions.  The way I see it, if i did gave up my American citizenship, I wouldn't had gotten jobs here when I returned 2000 (see my experience while live in Ireland) "ALSO" I wouldn't had gotten my Social Security Disability.  I remember the time I lived there I was soo happy and felt safe there.  I don't think I ever was happy in the United States and how it has become.

During our time there we were looking through the town of Ridgefield, Connecticut to see what it is like there.  It was a nice small town.  Could I see myself living there?  Possibly.  Could Craig?  maybe because he needed to get services there such as certain clinics and doctors due to his condition.

So now we are on the decision on either Ireland or Connecticut.  But then again it would be nice to be closer to the children.  Also I hadn't seen my brother in years.

If I had the money I would take us to Ireland for sure, but I am not sure if I do have enough money saved up for Ireland, that could be a problem.

Getting away

Its been a while since we treated ourselves something. We really didn't do anything since we got to Maine 4 years ago since we don’t own a vehicle. Seeing all the Somalians are really depressing me and its not healthy for me and its not healthy for him either. He’s been housebound for two summers and he doesn't want to make a third. So what we did was that we decided to leave Maine state for a few days and head down to Connecticut to see family. I had a weird feeling about leaving the cats alone and the house abandon, and I don’t trust the Somalians and I never will, so I asked the maintenance guy and his wife to check in on the house making sure its okay and children aren't hanging around there. We were going to stay for 3 days but ended up staying an extra two days. It was a good time down there. I had dread going back to Maine and seeing the bullshit again.  I would like to go away again.

it was really nice for us to get away from area.  Also gives us time to spend more time with the family in Connecticut.  We do plan on going there again.  But I knew mom was going to talk something negative and continue doing that and it was sort of weird and tiring too on the matter that I had to remove myself from the conversation and I left him there with my mother and sister discussing about us relocating to Ireland.

So I don't know what's going to happen.

Researching

Well we have been doing some researching to relocate back to Northern Ireland.  Yes, that's right.  I think its time to leave the US permanently and start a new life somewhere else.  I know Derry pretty well since I had lived there for 9 years.  I had sent some emails out for imformation, so I hope to get the information that I need.  This will be different for me because I am now with someone and we have three cats.  I also have been asking my friends there what they could do to help us out.  He actually wants to relocate to Spain but I think that once we are settled in Derry, we could be able to take trips to Spain if he wanted to.

Decision making / preparing to relocate

Robert and I have been talking and we decided that we were going to prepare ourselves to leave the United States for good.  Its a big step of course I've done it before and I could do it again.  Robert has traveled frequently as well so I would say he could do it as well.  We have 3 cats and this could be a big challenge for us for sure.

I have been doing some researching so I could prepare ourselves for this big move.  I hear lots of prices about having your pet flying overseas.  But I haven't looked into it deeply.

We have been thinking about what we should do before leaving, and I didn't realize that we do have to do a few things before we leave, such as getting our passports, and also get married so that it would be easier for us over there in Ireland.  I want to make sure that we will do everything that we need to do before leaving.

I'm surprised that the Social Security does allow people who are collecting Social Security Disability to take their allowance overseas.  I did read that some parts Social Security will deny it due to certain reasons.

I haven't told my mother our plans on relocating back to Ireland because I know she will be filled with 50 questions.  How are you going to get there?  Where are you going to get the money for it?  Where are you going to live?  Its like totally endless and I don't want to deal with that right now.

New friend from home (Derry)

I met a friend online and happened to live in Derry Northern Ireland where I used to live.  It was a coincidence that we met online and not when I lived in Derry.  I was just thinking that we could had several times during the 8 1/2 years that I was there that we could had passed our paths one time or another.

I gotten really excited and getting along with him via emails and skyping one another that its making me wish I was back home again.  Its nice that Robert likes him too.  Robert actually knows that I want to return to Derry.  And now that I talked to Colm for a while, and hearing him all the good stuff that is happening for the better makes me want to leave now. Everything has changed in Derry.  I am already dying to return to Ireland and that's what I have been thinking these days.  I really want to return to Derry.

Colm wanted us to make a plan to relocate back to Derry which I have been discussing with Colm that I do want to return.  He was telling me that I would need to break everything down in steps what I needed to do before leaving Derry.

I so much miss my family and friends in Derry that its reminding me of the times I lived in Derry and how much fun I had even with the troubles back then in the 1990s.  So when Colm told me that everything has changed, its making me more want to go there.  I can't even wait.  I'm getting psyched up already. I really think Robert would like it there too.

Moving Decisions!

Wow, I cannot believe that we have moved into Maine a year ago. I never really thought we would end up moving here. The year went by fast. Considering that this is a very small apartment, I would be happy and glad to be out of this apartment. It is too small for the both of us plus(+) three kitties. We really didn't know how big this apartment was going to be because we were in Washington and Craig kept in contact with the manager as there were several properties owned by them. At the time there were only 2 apartments available, and one was with a tub and the other without one and Craig loves taking his baths. So you probably guessed right which apartment we chosen. We only looked at pictures so we knew what the rooms looked like, we just didn't know how big it was.

We had thought about a few things when our lease is up. We could look for another apartment that is in the town rather than in the suburb, or we could stay here until next September in the meantime to purchase a used vehicle so we could travel around. It really would be a convenience to us if we had a bigger apartment and in the town so we could be able to walk around such as the Farmer's Market over the weekends. The bus transportation sucks. So we wouldn't have to worry about buses in the town. There is also continue to live here until the spring time and see what happens then. The decision was more closer to moving into the town.

Speaking of moving, lately I have been thinking about Northern Ireland. Yes, right now I am closer to my family and if I moved to Northern Ireland, I would be further away from them again. But i would be with my relatives once again. I really am starting to miss it and I remember that time I was living there that I was happy. I discussed my feelings to Craig and how I feel about it and want to eventually relocate there and possibly settle down. Then I got to thinking that we could possibly relocate there if it was planned out. It would be nice to move there before the year is up but I don't think I could see that happening.